About Me

My photo
Rock Hill, SC, United States
"My heart is overflowing with a good theme. I recite my compositions concerning the King. My tongue is the pen of a ready writer." (Psalm 45:1) This verse has become a life verse for me. As I continue to walk it out, I realize this journey as a breast cancer survivor has changed me but does not define me. I remain the loved, chosen, redeemed and blessed child of the living God who supplies me daily with more hope, strength, grace and courage than I ever dreamed I could possess! God has been so good to me ... indeed my tongue is the pen of a ready writer ... poised to tell the story of my faithful Father! I love Him so!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Almost half way....

Today marks the almost half-way mark...treatment #15 of 33. Wow! The days are passing by quickly. Today, I said goodbye to a sweet woman I've met who was mid-way through her treatments when I began. Today was her final treatment. This is her 3rd bout with breast cancer but all is looking good for her. We've become acquainted over the past 3 weeks as we sit there in our hospital gowns awaiting our turn. They move the patients through in a very peaceful, orderly, calming fashion and they are very efficient so the wait is usually as quick or quicker than the actual treatment. Not long to visit but we all already know one thing about each other....we're being treated for some form of cancer.

Anyway, you get to know a little about folks in situations like this. Today, we discovered that our 18 y/o's (my Cory and her daughter, Hayli) both graduated from South Pointe H.S. class of 2009. They apparently had classes together and while we both had heard the names we never connected the dots. It's a really small world. Over these last weeks, we've briefly shared some of our personal journey and I've sensed in her a sweet spirit and gentle, calm nature. She seems so at peace....

... at peace,
......the only place a cancer patient can truly live
but unattainable without the Lord
...it's just too much without Him, in fact,
I don't know how anyone faces this without Him
.... there's so much life to live in the midst of this fight for life and
He's the only One who can bring perspective and balance and Hope
.... He is our Hope! ...

and so my prayers will be with her today and tomorrow and as often as the Lord brings this lovely lady, named Janice, to my mind. She has forever touched my heart and I pray God's favor on her all the days of her life.

As I reach the mid-point of my own treatments, it occurred to me that there will probably be a new "Janice" joining us in the "hospital gowned waiting area". Maybe she will be scared or angry or feeling hopeless. Maybe she will be optimistic and peaceful and a sister in Christ. Who knows? But I know this, God has entrusted this journey to me and I pray for His wisdom and compassion and grace to touch whomever sits next to me each day.

Oh may my life, my words, my journey represent Him well and cause others to turn their gaze upon the Son of the Most High God. He is the only Hope any of us have!

Blessings my friends,

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Just a quick update...

Nothing much to report. Today was treatment #13 so there are a mere 20 treatments left :) They are going by rather quickly. And, I'm not feeling any real side effects yet and I'm happy about that. Thanks for all your continued prayers and as the Lord brings you to my mind I've been praying for you too.

Hope you have a good day!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Today...This Moment...

It's Saturday today and I finished my first full week of radiation treatment yesterday (the first week was only 4 days because we started on a Tuesday) so that makes a total of 9 down and only 24 more to go. Yah! I'm so thankful that God is sustaining me. I was told that the fatigue and skin irritation would set in around the 2 week mark. Technically, I'm still a little shy of that mark but today I feel great. I'm doing some much needed deep cleaning around the house. Our 9 month old puppy, Murphy, with the face so ugly only a mother could love...(he's a blk/wht Japanese Chin)...sheds....alot...and my allergies are in an uproar. Gotta stay on top of that if we are going to get along! :) That's his picture....

Last night, we had a performance of "Not Just Another Love Story". The audience was very receptive and I think they enjoyed the show. I was especially glad that after a long day of 13 hours combined work and performance I wasn't wiped out. God is good and He sustains us in all that He calls us to do. Today my prayers are with the "Gospel According To Tennessee" cast as they have 2 shows which makes for a very long day indeed. May God be glorified in the theater today! If you haven't been to Narroway Productions you should come on out for a show. You will be blessed.

Well, that's all. I'm just feeling so content and comfortable in my today...this moment...how about you? Are you finding it hard to "be still and know that He is God"? We all find ouselves there sometimes...press through....don't settle....find the stillness that changes your perspective and drives you to your knees in awe of One so great.

I hope you all have a great Father's Day weekend. Love your earthly/spiritual Fathers well! And don't forget to spend some extra time with the Father of all creation...that's where I'm off to right now...to sit in His awesome presence and linger a while. Can't wait to see what He has for me.....just stun me Lord. That is my prayer!


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

I'm currently praying for...

Mildred Williams - Mother-in-law of a friend of mine (elderly) recently diagnosed with cancer and heading to Chapel Hill for surgery tomorrow (6/18). May God give her doctors wisdom as they perform her surgery; the nurses extra tenderness as they care for her post-op; and give her peace and endurance for the recovery road ahead.

Genesis - 14 y/o with cancer; receiving treatments. May God touch her - extra special!

It just blows my mind how dependent we truly are on the Lord to meet our every need. We all know someone who struggles with something and it drives us to our knees. I don't know how anyone faces life's uncertainties without His love, grace, mercy and favor over their lives.

Have a great day in Him,

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Still counting .....

Today was treatment #6 and I don't know if it's my imagination or the real thing but I think the fatigue is at least "lurking" in the shadows :) They told me the side effects would begin around the 2 week mark but ...... not trying to borrow trouble .... but I was bushed around 2:30 today. This was a different/new kind of "tired". Took a little rest and am feeling more refreshed. I'm cooking a simple dinner and I think I'll let my guys do the dishes tonight, huh? ... and the laundry and the floors :)

While they do that I may go for my walk, it'll probably tire me but if so I'll just go on to bed. At least my hips and thighs will be happy!

Hope you all are doing well!
Cindy K.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Radiation Update

Well, I completed my first 4 treatments today and there are only 29 left to go. I get the weekend off...yah! Treatment is going well, I guess, as I can't really see any results of it yet. All the effect is taking place on the inside, killing the healthy and any left over unhealthy cells, if there are any. The Dr. said to think of it as "mopping up" the remaining area. As a Mom I can picture that process :) Anyway, he said the physical signs of fatigue and skin irritation would begin around the 2 week mark and everyone's reaction is different in terms of severity. Hopefully, mine will be minimal. Right now I just pray and trust we're making good progress. Have a great day in Christ and a restful weekend.


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

No. 2 is in the bag....

Okay, so I'm driving to work and I'm thinking about the fact that No 2 (treatment) is done and over with..."in the bag" so to speak. And then I get to thinking about how I'm "filling" up a mental bag or bucket of my treatments so that I can orderly process and tally them. That's okay and I will continue to do this little exercise to help pass the days of treatment but it occurred to me that in my walk with Christ he calls me to store up treasures in Heaven (Matt. 6:20-21) that's where my heart is but also through Paul, in Phil. 2:5-8, God inspired these words... "have this same attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus... who ... emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant...He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross". Paul recognized this attitude in His ministry and says in vs 17-18 "But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all. You too, I urge you, rejoice in the same way and share your joy with me."

What a life, what a faith, what surrender that caused one certain man to fall head over heels, madly in love with the Savior and be willing to both store up treasure in heaven and be poured out lavishly in ministry for the advancement of the gospel ....poured out for the souls of all who would hear the message of Christ and learn to truly live, in this life and for all eternity. I want to be like that ..... leaving nothing in my pockets at the end of each day!

Oh God, may my life just be absolutely free-flowing to all who you bring my way. May this current set of uncomfortable circumstances in which, by the way, You are absolutely stunning me in the midst of, may these current circumstances not define me. Rather may they strengthen me in the inner man to do Your will for all my days! Thank you for bending the ear to earth .... Your love for us is lavish!

Blessings to you my friends....have an awesome day!
Cindy K.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

1 down and only 32 to go!

Well, today marks the start of actual treatment. I'm really glad and excited to be at this point. Assuming that I never have to miss a treatment due to illness or machine malfunction then I should have my last treatment on July 24th. I feel like we're really doing something productive now. The surgeries were very productive indeed but I really haven't done anything else since then so this is good for a "do-er" like me.

And, I must say that everything I have heard about radiation treatments has proven true. I saw nothing and felt nothing during the treatment and it took all of 10 minutes. It was very non-eventful. Of course, the side effects (skin irritaiton and fatigue) isn't expected until a couple of weeks into treatment but .... even then ... Praise God! He just takes such good care of us as we walk through our stuff.

I hope and pray that you have a good day today! Let me know how I can pray for you .... it is my honor to partner with you in prayer for yourself and/or your family & friends.

Cindy K.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Radiation Begins on Tuesday, June 9th

Hi my sweet friends and family,

I went in today for my "practice" radiation treatment. Everything seemed to line up appropriately so I'm good to begin the real thing first thing in the morning on Tuesday, June 9th. My appointment time for the next 33 weekday treatments will be 8:05 a.m. :( I am just not an early riser but this will certainly go a long way toward changing that in me, right? I'll go 5 days/week for 6 1/2 weeks....treatments should conclude mid-July.

I've made it my goal to get up extra early so I can have my quiet time, maybe even take my walk, have breakfast AND dress before treatment. Afterall, I do have to go to work afterward....so I've got to get it all done before hand, right? Okay, okay, I can hear some of you laughing already because you know me so well! This plan may be a little bit over-industrious but it gives me a goal to reach for. I'm making it a matter of prayer anyway!

Speaking of prayer, I thank you all for both your prayers and concern for us. I am trusting first in Christ alone. He is my only hope. The final outcome looks promising for me from the medical standpoint but even so I know that healing comes from the Father alone. All of our days (and our health) come from His generous hand and yet we also know that the earthly tent we dwell in is kind of goaning, you know, wearing out alittle more each day and that is as it should be. Don't believe me? Recall 2 Cor. 5.

But, my "here and now" is that "I'm here and it's now" so I'm doing what I can to take care of myself, my tent, for His glory! Like, improving my diet to be full of fresh fruits, veggies and whole grains, lean meats, healthy fats, etc, along with walking 30 minutes a day. I pray this will condition my body for the fight I continue to face to eradicate all cancer traces from my body as I go through the radiation. Each day of taking better care of myself with good food choices, plenty of water, and exercise brings me that much closer to overall better health. It's amazing how God designed our bodies and provided us with the things we need to take care of them. We truly are wonderfully and marvelously made. May we glorify Him in our body ..... (as the verse below says)....

I Cor. 6:19-20
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own?
For you have been bought with a price; therefore, glorify God in your body.

Above all, I'm seeking Him more diligently than ever before. I'm loving spending time alone with Him. Everyday something new is revealed out of scripture. I'm doing a new study right now as part of my quiet time. You may remember that right after Christmas I started Beth Moore's - John - 90 Days with the beloved disciple. (It's from her Personal Reflections Series for those too busy to take a full-fledged class; this you do on your own) That study couldn't have come to me at a more perfect time. I still marvel at how so many of the lesson's were applicable to the exact moment. I had to laugh one day when I was waiting on results from one test or another and looked ahead to Monday's devotion...which was also the expected day of the results...I found the title was "One Foot In The Grave". Someone said to me, "Don't try to get ahead of God." How true!

Anyway, I recently finished the John study and have now started Jesus - 90 Days with the One and Only. It's still applicable to my days, I'm enjoying it just as much (or more) and I wanted to mention it in case you are looking for a new study to embark on........

Have a blessed day today...take good care of yourself....your temple for His glory!
Cindy K.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Congratulations Cory - Class of '09

Cory graduated from South Pointe High School in Rock Hill, SC on Saturday, June 6th. Enjoy the pics of our family.....

Mom and her 3 sons.......

Hmmm....my future is bright!

With Mom and Dad...

Mom and Cory ....

The whole family.....

Cory, we are so proud of you and we know that God will use you mightily for His glory and fame! We love watching your life unfold.....you are one my 3 greatest treasures this side of Heaven! Brad and Will you are the other 2! I love you all!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Treatments will begin next week.....

Yesterday I went to the Radiation Center where they will be doing my treatments. It was all very technical but the long and short of it is that, guided by a CT scan, they marked the skin with the permanent "tatoos" that will serve as alignment for the area to be treated. That data goes yet to another computer and the treatment plan is formulated. Next Monday, June 8th, I'll go in for a "dry run" to make sure everything aligns as it should and if so my first treatment will be on Tuesday, June 9th.

Otherwise, I'm feeling very good. Walking, working, serving, mothering, cooking, cleaning, etc .... all the things that we know to do, we just keep doing .... and the most important thing that we know to do in any and all situations is to "pray without ceasing" I Thess. 5:17 and to "consider it all joy.....knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." James 1:2&3 God has been so very good to us. I, for one, am feeling very blessed. Are you?

Today I was reading in Isaiah 25 and the very first verse just brought me so much comfort. Now I'm no Old Testament scholar and I realize that this passage was written as a song of praise celebrating deliverance of a different kind many years ago, but it still touched me deeply....

Psalm 25:1 (NAS)
O Lord, You are my God;
I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name;
For You have worked wonders
Plans formed long ago with perfect faithfulness.

I love that perfect faithfulness part right on the heels of the plans being formed long ago and we can't overlook the wonder working aspect. It's true. He knew all things before any of them came to be. He knew our individual struggles as well as the larger scale ones of the Nations of the earth. And, He stands ready to simply stun us with His wonder working power.

Oh He is a good God, the One True God and He carries out the plans of our lives with Perfect Faithfulness indeed. In fact, doesn't He tell us in Psalm 139 that "all our days were ordained before one of them came to be"? I think there's a message somewhere in there :) Let's not miss it.....rest in His all knowing, all sufficient, perfect faithfulness over your every thing, large or small. He knows! He knew your name before the very foundations of the world and he has inscribed you on the palms of His hands (Is. 49:16) He's a personal and intimately acquainted God!

Have a good day today and don't forget to rest in the hands of the Father,

Cindy K.