Still Undone ~

It was two years ago today that I became completely and utterly UNDONE by One so Great who cared enough about me to extend His strong arm of safety and flood my soul with a depth of peace I never knew could exist. And incredibly, He did all of that and so much more, right in the midst of my storm.

Undone, I tell you, and, I am not over it yet! I'm still just as undone in His presence today as I was the very moment the Dr said to me ... "it's breast cancer".  In fact, I'm a continual mess in His presence and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Who could have known that I would find myself on the other side, looking back and feeling so blessed as I recall the journey, remembering how we sang and danced under the stormy skies. What joy He has placed deep within! I remember how He led me in His Word and created in me an appetite for more. I remember how He spoke peace, comfort and courage directly to my heart; how He never left me, not for one moment, and guided my every step! Truly He is our Refuge and Very-Present Help in time of need!

Yesterday was a perfect example of His very-present-ness in my life. I was riding in the car and had put my CD (Overwhelmed) in the player. I was listening to the song Still (track 5) and thinking of how good He had been to me. Then the chorus began ....

When the oceans rise and thunders roar

I will soar with You above the storm .... 

And right then, as those words hung in the air ~ "I will soar with You" ~ I looked up above the stoplight where I was sitting and saw a large, strong, dark colored bird soaring from one side of the road to the other. His graceful flight was just above the Bradford Pear trees, the Crepe Myrtles and the power lines; yet, close enough to capture my eye; drawing my gaze heavenward. As I glanced past the bird and to the heavens my heart quickened for I had to wonder if God was recalling our journey too.  This was our moment, our gentle reminder, of the journey together.

I want you to know that there has been no greater joy in all of my life, no greater time of growth in all of my days, no deeper love for my Master than that which He has allowed me to experience while dodging the storm's fury. He has refined me in ways that I could never have dreamed and I don't ever want to be the same!

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has walked through a storm and found herself stunned speechless by the faithfulness and mercy of God. I'm convinced there is something that rearranges deep within the child of God when faced with their own mortality.  But I think the change comes not from just "accepting" the medical facts and deciding to fight. That is important and we must find the courage and the wherewithal to do exactly that but in that medical knowledge alone is not where the transformation will take place.

No, I feel that the transforming change occurs as we grip more tightly to our Father and say to Him, "I trust You. Have Your way in me." We are changed in the midst of surrender. We are strengthened in the midst of being still. We are upheld as we reach for the outstretched hands of the Sovereign God of the universe ~ our Healer ~ our Everything! And, He will be faithful! It is who He is ... faithful! (2 Tim. 2:13)

Oh God, have you found me faithful? 
Am I walking it well for Your glory and fame?

I pray that He has and I pray that I am. I pray that as long as He gives me breath, I will use it for His great glory! Not out of my own strength, mind you, because I know I will fail ~ but in the mighty strength and power that He provides.

So, today I remember ... and I also keep moving forward. We all must do that. There are new storm clouds gathering all around. Some will be severe and life-altering while others just a mere inconvenience. No matter what, He alone holds the peace, the power, the purpose, the joy, and the victory in the midst of them all because ~ There is no one like our God!

Simply Undone,

Cindy K.

Where Does All The Time Go?

I can't believe that March is almost gone. In just a few more hours we will flip the calendar and start again at the beginning with another "First", another "Day 1" of a brand new month. Oh how quickly the days and years go. We often race through life with little regard of what might be waiting around the corner.

We all do it. Rush, Rush, Rush! We leave the house, usually in a hurry, and forget to say "Goodbye" or "I love you" to those we share life with. Once on the outside, we avoid opportunities that might inconvenience us. Why?  Because we've built no margin in our day to offer a word of encouragement to those who cross our path. No margin to discern the pain of others and be the very one to offer them hope. We neglect sharing a word of life with someone because we don't want to offend them.  So we just keep quiet and justify our silence. "Maybe tomorrow", we reason, "and I'll be more prepared. I'll have more time."

Could it be we've become numb to the fact that life is so very brief? But, what if tomorrow doesn't come for you, or for them? Or what if it does come but it looks vastly different than you had expected it to look? Let me just get to the heart of the matter because I'm burdened about something and I'm not going to beat around the bush ... time is too fleeting! I'm seeing this reality all around me lately. In fact, I say it as recently as Tuesday.

Tuesday, you may recall (if you live around here) has been the ONLY sunny, warm day this week. A day that you just think all is well in the world for everybody, right? I mean, for me it was a day when the house was clean, laundry was caught up, dinner was planned, the sun was shining ~ you get the picture ~ peace and order all around and so I headed out for a wonderful, refreshing walk. But sometimes a closer look quickly reveals that all is not well. Real life is happening all around us. People are hurting, grieving, losing their grip and my heart just breaks for them. Which is exactly what happened when I got in from my walk and turned on the local news. 

Little did I know that while I was out walking, a car accident had taken place nearby claiming the life of a local high school senior. Hearing the news, my heart immediately began to pray for a faceless, nameless mom and dad that I will probably never meet but possibly at that moment were somewhere receiving the news that their son was gone, forever. Taken so abruptly and in such a horrific way. It was more than I could stand! Seriously! My heart broke into a million pieces for them. And so I began to pray ~ taking a cue from the book of Daniel (chapter 9) ...

"So, I gave my attention to the Lord God to seek Him by prayer and supplications (vs 3a) ... 

for we are not presenting our supplications before You on account of any merits of our own, 

but on account of Your great compassion. (vs 18 b)" (NASB)

 I prayed for their comfort. I prayed that Almighty God would surround them with His great love and compassion even in the midst of what must be the most suffocating of emotions and pain. I prayed that, even though there are no easy answers to life's hardest questions, that knowing God is sovereign will be enough. I am still praying for them that He will be enough!

You see, I'm convinced that resting in God's sovereignty does indeed have to be enough. Don't misunderstand me, when tragedy strikes we don't just stick our head in the sand and say, "Oh well!" No, that would be denial. In this life we will have hard questions, countless tears, deep doubts, burning anger, fear, broken hearts but guess what? He can handle it all. 

His lovingkindness and patience with us is so vast! His love is so lavish! He remembers that we are but dust and, therefore, is not caught off guard by our range of emotions. We present all our supplications, as Daniel said, not on any merit of our own but totally dependent on God's great compassion for us! And so, I say it again ... in the end, the conclusion we must come to is that He is sovereign and that fact, alone, must be enough!

I've been in Psalm 90 today and at first glance it can be little depressing. I mean, really, it speaks of the frailty of man, our many afflictions, our sin and God's wrath but look deeper. It also speaks of, it declares, the eternity of God,  His mercy and grace and joy. It speaks of Hope which is found only in Him.  Psalm 90, in part or in whole, our reality to face as we walk through this life. Our decision to make too ~ to exchange all that we are for all that He is. 

And so, I want to share this Psalm with you in the hopes that you will be encouraged in whatever you are facing in your own life. I pray that you will be undone in His holy presence. Absolutely in awe by His majesty, His glory, His splendor! May you find yourself facedown seeking Him, His wisdom, His joy, His favor ~ fresh and new or maybe for the very first time.

   A prayer of Moses the man of God.

 ¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place
   throughout all generations.
² Before the mountains were born
   or you brought forth the whole world,
   from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

 ³ You turn people back to dust,
   saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
⁴ A thousand years in your sight
   are like a day that has just gone by,
   or like a watch in the night.
⁵ Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
   they are like the new grass of the morning:
⁶ In the morning it springs up new,
   but by evening it is dry and withered.

 ⁷ We are consumed by your anger
   and terrified by your indignation.
⁸ You have set our iniquities before you,
   our secret sins in the light of your presence.
⁹ All our days pass away under your wrath;
   we finish our years with a moan.
¹⁰ Our days may come to seventy years,
   or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
   for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
¹¹ If only we knew the power of your anger!
   Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.
¹² Teach us to number our days,
   that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

 ¹³ Relent, LORD! How long will it be?
   Have compassion on your servants.
¹⁴ Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
   that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
¹⁵ Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
   for as many years as we have seen trouble.
¹⁶ May your deeds be shown to your servants,
   your splendor to their children.

 ¹⁷ May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us;
   establish the work of our hands for us—
   yes, establish the work of our hands. 

Psalm 90 (NIV)

Remember, we are not promised tomorrow ... so we've got to get it right today and that's made possible only by His grace.  Oh, my friend, how I pray that you know Him. Don't risk the uncertainty of another day without Him!

Holy God, thank you for your great compassion; Your mercy and grace. You continually stun us with you splendor and majesty. And I ask that You would walk with us through the moments of our days teaching us to number them. Teach us to gain a heart of wisdom!

In Jesus mighty and matchless name!

It's all just a bit upside down!

It began turning upside down when one day in my quiet time I felt the Lord impress upon my heart to read a particular Psalm backward ~ upside down, if you will ~ you know, by reading the last verse first until I reached the first verse last. So, of course, I did what He said and, I must say it has been a rich exercise. One in which I've gained a lot of insight, albeit upside down insight, and it has greatly enhanced my understanding of the passage as I read it again forward! Now I'm seeing upside down truths everywhere ... with a spiritual eye and toward a spiritual application.

I was even reminded that the physical eye, which the Lord God has created, receives images upside down on the retina until they are interpreted by the brain to be right side up. All in a split second! Incredible! That's the wonder of our human body ... only God could have been so creative!

And, He's quite the creative One when it comes to the inner man too. Think about about these upside down's in Paul's writing to the saints in Christ Jesus at Philippi ...

Phil. 2:5-8
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 
who although He existed in the form of God, did not reqard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself ...

Wait, What? That's upside down ... The God of the Universe humbling Himself?  Laying aside His glory? Emptying Himself, taking on the form of a bondservant? The world says ... stake your claim! Look out for yourself! Be important no matter what the cost!

But we, who are in Christ, don't consider what the world says. We consider His Word to us and so consider John 1:11 ~ He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him.

They were looking for a mighty warrior not a humble servant. He didn't meet their definition of Deliverer. It was all upside down in their thinking and they didn't have eyes to see it. They couldn't grasp who He was. Even though He walked among them. Teaching them on the hillside, by the shore of Galilee, in the synagogue as "One with authority." They simply missed it.

But to those who had ears to hear; to those whose hearts were opened to the things of the Spirit ~ they understood His upside-down teaching. They understood when He said that the first would be last (Matt. 20:16); that life is found by losing it for the sake of Christ (Luke 17:33); that real living begins when we die to self (Gal. 5:24); that it is better to give than to receive (Acts 20:35); that the greatest in the kingdom is the one who is servant of all (Matt. 20:25-28).

Can we wrap our minds around this upside down way of life? It is so contrary to what the world teaches and yet, that fact should not surprise us. We know that we are in the world but not of it! We're gonna stick out!

So, don't be afraid to live life upside down.  This upside-down way of living has a way of loosening bonds and allowing lasting contentment and joy to take root. Laugh when you feel sad! Sing when you feel like crying! Trust when you are afraid! Stand strong and brave in the face of adversity! Give with no expectation of receiving! Serve with no ulterior motive! Be willing to be last and not first! All for the sake of Christ Jesus!

The world can't help but notice and just maybe, they'll want a little of your "Upside-Down-ness!" and I know we look good to the Father when we're upside-down for His glory and fame!

Blessings!
Cindy K

With Wings Like Eagles ....

Can I be perfectly honest right here; right now? I’ve been struggling lately with some discouragement and anxiety over this whole cancer thing. Sometimes, I wish I had the luxury of just sticking my head in the sand and forgetting that I am a cancer patient at all. I fantasize about going in and making a deal with my Oncologist ... and the conversation goes a little like this ...

“How ‘bout we just forget this whole cancer thing ever happened.
I won’t tell anybody if you won’t tell anybody!”

Fortunately, I know that I can’t just “forget” about it. I can’t stick my head in the sand. Gotta keep moving forward, pressing in, trusting my Creator. I know that physical difficulties are as much a physical fight as they are a spiritual fight for the child of God ... a battle for the mind, a battle to stay surrendered, a battle for my focus and my worship; and, knowing all of this keeps me reaching for the One who holds ALL of my hope.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still feeling good, aside from the usual aches and pains that we all get, and I still have a good report! Praise God! I even had a good routine appointment recently. My Doctor did the usual 6 month lab work, ordered a chest x-ray and a mammogram and then sent me on my way.

So, now I wait and, by the way, did I mention that I despise waiting? But, wait I must ... I wait for the lab results, I wait for the other two appointments, after which, I will wait for the results of the two tests that will be done at those two appointments that I’m waiting for.

Waiting! Ugh! ~ Trusting! Ah!

As I have faced my “wait” this week, I’m reminded that there is one thing I don’t have to wait for. What is that? Well, I’m glad you asked!

I don’t have to wait on the calm and comfort of my Father. I don’t have to wait on the peace that passes all understanding. I don’t have to wait for the strength that comes from prayer, submission, and daily abiding in His Word.

No, I do not have to wait on Him for these things ~ at all ... ever!

He is always there ... going before me ... shielding my way ... upholding me with His all sufficient arms ... renewing my strength ... mounting me up on wings like eagles ... exchanging my fearful thoughts for faith-filled ones. Giving me courage I did not know I could possess as I press in to Him. How good is our God!

I mentioned in my last blog that I’m memorizing scripture this year ~ two verses each month. Well, it comes as no surprise that God, in the midst of my discouragement, would lead me to my second verse of the year which is Isaiah 40: 28-31 (maybe you already know this passage) ...

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
the Everlasting God, the Lord,
the Creator of the ends of the earth
does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
and vigorous young men stumble badly
yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength.
They will mount up on wings like eagles,
they will run and not get tired,
they will walk and not become weary.
Is. 40: 28-31 (NAS)

So there we have it. Waiting doesn’t have to be all bad; in fact, the word “wait” in this passage means “hope in”.

So, this passage reminds us ...

the Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired ... and those who wait for (hope in) Him will gain new strength, mounting up on wings like eagles ....

I’ll take a little of that. It’s just what I need today .... how about you?

Happy New Year, 2011

What are your plans for the new year? Are you setting personal goals such as exercising more, eating healthy, or studying the Bible more intentionally? The list of potential goals and resolutions can be long and full of good intentions.

In fact, there are many great things that we can strive for and they will surely enrich our lives as we see new disciplines developed. At the top of my list is memorizing scripture in 2011. I’ll be participating with Living Proof Ministries as posted on their blog page recently. I even ordered their handy-dandy, spiral bound booklet full of blank index cards ready to be filled with scriptures ... 24 of them ... as I memorize two verses each month.

By the way, you can learn more about this Siesta Scripture Memory Team by visiting the Living Proof Ministry blog entry at http://blog.lproof.org/2010/12/my-fun-little-siesta-surprise.html

So, anyway, I’m beginning with Isaiah 30: 20-21 (I know that’s 2 verses but they just seem to be inseparable) and these verses say ....

Although the Lord has given you bread of privation and water of oppression, He, Your Teacher, will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher. Your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it.” whenever you turn to the right or to the left.

This passage refers to a time following the judgment because of Israel’s disobedience in which God opened their eyes once again to the sound teaching of the prophets but I think there is application for us today ~ as believers who have the living God within us in the person of the Holy Spirit ... our resident Teacher.

Sometimes, life can be so very difficult and we do indeed experience the “bread of privation and water of oppression”. Sometimes life just gets tough and it hurts! It may be something of our own doing which causes difficult consequences (like the Israelites in this passage) or it may be something that is totally beyond our control. Something that sovereign God allows into our life to refine us, mold us, teach us, shape us.

The point is ... don’t give up on God. He loves you and He loves me ... He longs to walk with us every step of the way ... in the difficulty and the ease of living.

Maybe we just need the reminder and the assurance that God has not forgotten us. This verse reminds me that He is my Teacher, my Guide, the Ever-Constant in my journey. One thing is for certain and that one thing is that I long to seek Him and find Him in the midst of whatever I am experiencing and, He promises that as I seek Him, He will be found ... gotta keep pressing in!

So, let me retype the verses now with some simple thoughts added because I don’t think it’s enough to just memorize scripture ... there must be some understanding of what it means ... of how it can apply to my right now moments ....

Although the Lord (the sovereign Ruler over all) has given you bread of privation and water of oppression (what difficulty or uncertainty is happening in my life right now ~ could it be the sovereign allowing of it in my life?), He, Your Teacher, (the Lord Himself, indwelling) will no longer hide Himself, but your eyes will behold your Teacher (seek and He will be found ~ Jer. 29:13). Your ears will hear a word behind you “This is the way, walk in it.” (the promise of divine guidance, divine direction). whenever you turn to the right or to the left (at all times; in all circumstances).

Puts a fresh perspective on this old testament passage for me ... so my prayer is this ... not just for me but for you ....

Ah Lord, we don’t know what this new year holds; what joy, what heartache, what laughter and tears, what indecisions or lack of clarity, but this we do know ... You ~ Holy, Sovereign, Loving, Faithful God ~ will supply all of our needs! And we rest assured that everything that touches Your beloved child will have been filtered through Your loving council and Your perfect will for our lives.

2011, as all other years since the dawn of time, belongs to You ~ Ruler of all that is! You are timeless, eternal. Let Your will be perfectly formed in us, day by day, as we walk into the unknowns of this new year.

In Jesus Name!

Blessings to you for a wonderful 2011 ~ full of God’s grace and never-ending mercy!
Cindy K
cindyrkessler@gmail.com